Nothing Happens, Then Everything Happens
A stolen aphorism that may resonate deeply with your process
I watch a lot of YouTube.
If used effectively, you can access the brightest minds and basically get a degree in anything for free.
(Yesterday, I spent an hour learning how to grow sweet potatoes in pots in a Zone 7b climate.)
One of my favorite YouTubers (and modern thinkers) is a guy named Dan Koe.
Dan is 27 years old and has built a massive one-person business (over 5 million in revenue) simply by having a daily writing process.
Seemingly out of nowhere, Dan went from a small writer online to one of the biggest-known names in the entrepreneur space.
What most people don't realize is Dan's "overnight success" was half a decade in the making.
He has a way of describing this phenomenon:
Nothing happens, and then everything happens
The path to success in anything is pretty boring.
It is the monotonous, repeatable work that gets us the exponential results.
The unsexy and difficult conversations are what keep a marriage together.
The hundreds of reps at the gym repeating the same boring exercise are what make us stronger.
The thousands of hours in meditation where our mind is racing are what lead to equanimity.
Everybody wants the big revolutionary experience that changes their trajectory forever.
A lot of the men I work with want to learn how to lead men's groups and retreats.
They see me filling retreats and programs and think by taking a 4-month program and learning a few practices, they can do the same thing.
What they don't see is the six years of work it took to get here.
The thousands of hours in personal practice and traveling all over the US working for free to hone the skills required to lead effectively.
The $100,000+ invested in training, coaching, healing, and education on how to craft meticulous containers for transformation.
The daily grind of working a full-time job making $15/hour all while continuing to develop my skills.
Running men's circles in my living room for three men (two of them being my roommates).
For years, despite my consistency and efforts, nothing was happening.
My business hardly made enough to support me and finances were a constant source of stress.
It hasn't been until these last few months that things are starting to gain traction.
I'm not quite on the everything-happening-exponential-growth stage yet, but the signals are evident.
And I know when that success is hit, it won't be due to some piece of viral content or new funnel strategy.
The only determinant will be the thousands of hours of doing the boring, nothing-is-happening work.
It's the only consistent pattern I've seen among anyone who has created lasting success in any area of life.
The willingness to show up when no one gives a fuck.
When it seems worthless or like you're going backward.
Even when it's not paying the bills.
Because those painful months and years of showing up regardless of how you feel or the results you are getting are the same times you will reflect on fondly when everything happens...
Or so I'm told.
Another great post. It is so easy to get discouraged by the lack of tangible results in the “trench” work. I have not seen the “everything happen” yet but I am learning to enjoy the journey whether everything happens or not.
I don’t know. I am not fully convinced. I think I have heard of him and seen him talk. I think you are right in the fact that skills don’t come overnight. But I don’t know about success itself. I think sometimes things are just meant to be. Sometimes some people are meant to find their road to success faster than others. I am not sure about my theory either. I am trying to find out for myself. But just came across your post and was reading this. It is funny though that you were running a men’s group for 2 people including your roommate at some point.